My mother is deep on the spectrum with both Asperger’s and OCD. We grew up knowing she wasn’t like other moms (and suffering for it) without understanding why. A bewildering childhood led me to research extensively and when I discussed my findings with my siblings, close friends, and even family friends I could see the lightbulbs of awareness. My “explanation” fits. But I’m not a doctor and therefore I’m supposedly “unqualified” to know. Dad said I was off-base and I shouldn’t upset her because “you know how she gets.”

!!!!!

She’s 73 now and remains undiagnosed, still living her life as if we’re all the ones who see life “wrong” and judge her and exasperate her and “try” her energies.

My diagnosis for her helped ME to understand her quirks and tempers, helped ME to learn how to love her for who she is beneath the difficult shell. If she could only be allowed to see that an awareness of her autism isn’t an indictment, like our wondrous author, that she could be helped and learn to process her frustrations, dependencies, and how to absorb social cues…. if only. Sigh.